93 Things To Do With a Dead Amiga

  1. You can put an Amiga under a short leg on a table.
  2.  You can use an Amiga for a kitty litter box.
  3. You can scrap an Amiga and use it as spare parts for a radio.
  4. You can use an Amiga as a car stop when you park on a steep hill.
  5. You can use an Amiga when your teacher hands you an F of your final exam.
  6. You can use an Amiga to hammer nails. (tested, doesn’t work) 
  7. You can tie 3 Amiga’s together and use them as a jock strap.
  8. You can use an Amiga as a locker shelf if you need more space.
  9. When in fear of power surges you can plug in an Amiga first.
  10. You can tie 2 Amiga’s together and use it as a leg brace.
  11. If you get stuck in mud then you can use an Amiga as friction to get out. 
  12. Use an Amiga as a hood ornament.
  13. When you do your homework, you can use an Amiga as a paper weight for a book.
  14. You can have a contest on how many pieces you can make an Amiga into.
  15. If you have muddy shoes you can scrape the mud off on them.
  16. You can construct a raft out of Amiga’s. (tested, not enough buoyancy) 
  17. You can write important messages on the back of an Amiga.
  18. You can grow fungus culture on an Amiga.
  19. If making a geek BBS use an Amiga for the computer.
  20. Use an Amiga as a book end.
  21. Amiga’s can be used as a murder weapon of some sort.
  22. You can use an Amiga as a goldfish bowl. (tested, not watertight) 
  23. If you buy an Amiga you will learn a new phrase.. “Foiled Again..”
  24. Instead of flushing your money down the toilet you can buy an Amiga.
  25. You can raise bees in your Amiga.
  26. Engrave an Amiga and use it as a headstone.
  27. If your favorite T.V. show was cancelled you can throw it at a TV.
  28. If you know how to read, you can use an Amiga as a bookmark.
  29. Rent an Amiga as a roach motel.
  30. You can use the owner’s manual to teach people how to read. 
  31. You can use an Amiga as a footstool.
  32. You can use an Amiga as a scratching post for your cat. (tested, cat not interested) 
  33. You can glue 10 Amigas together to use as a surfboard.
  34. As a torture, you can make someone use an Amiga.
  35. You can use 2 Amigas as a book cover.
  36. If out of wood, you can burn some Amigas.
  37. You can set your beverage down on an Amiga so as not to scuff your furniture.
  38. You can see if a Ronco Vegi-Matic will destroy an Amiga.
  39. You can convert Atari ST games to Amiga and watch them flop.
  40. You can see how much water it takes to short circuit an Amiga.
  41. You can tie an Amiga to a stick and use it as a shovel.
  42. You can use an Amiga as a backboard for basketball.
  43. You can take hallucinogens and imagine you have a furry computer.
  44. You can tie an Amiga to your foot and use it as a cleat.
  45. You can use an Amiga as a hubcap.
  46. You can use an Amiga as a wrecking ball on a crane.
  47. You can test your new gun on an Amiga. [49] You can test out sizes of drill bits on an Amiga.
  48. You can throw Amigas at 14 year olds.
  49. You can hollow an Amiga out and put secret messages in it.
  50. With enough of them you can build a chair. If you really go for it you can build a table for your Apple with Amigas
  51. You can use an Amiga as a door mat.
  52. You can wipe your butt with an Amiga.
  53. You can use an Amiga as an ashtray.
  54. You can give an Amiga to the needy.
  55. You can use an Amiga as a whoopy-cushion.
  56. You can give an Amiga an AIDS virus. (tested, not possible) 
  57. You can use an Amiga as a pooper-scooper.
  58. You can use Amigas in a similar way like Lego blocks. You could use keys from its keyboard as buttons for your shirt.
  59. You can fill an Amiga with birdseed and hang it in a tree.
  60. If you like hard pillows you can use an Amiga as one.
  61. You can build a black box with parts from your Amiga.
  62. You can let a professional wrestler sit on an Amiga and fart away. 
  63. You can throw Amigas at Prince if you go to one of his concerts. (No longer possible, Prince is dead) 
  64. You can wipe your Nose with an Amiga.
  65. When you go to church you can put one in the collection plate.
  66. You can use an Amiga as a dart board.
  67. You can buy an Amiga an return it in the same hour.
  68. You can let your pet dog sleep on an Amiga.
  69. You can count how many pieces an Amiga breaks into after you throw it.
  70. You can sit on an Amiga when you go to a baseball game.
  71. You can give this file to an Amiga owner and laugh.
  72. You can raise mushrooms in an Amiga.
  73. If you get mugged show him your Amiga and he’ll know you need the money.
  74. You can feed an Amiga to Mikee.
  75. You can give it a funeral.
  76. You can threaten someone by saying you’ll tell everyone that he owns one.
  77. You can bronze it and place it on the mantel.
  78. You can tell if people are insane by if they own an Amiga.
  79. If one of your cords are stripped then you can use the one from Amiga.
  80. You can frost an Amiga and enter it in a cake contest.
  81. You can use 3 Amiga’s as a helmet for football.
  82. You can see how many Amigas you can destroy in an hour.
  83. You can fart on an Amiga and see how long it takes for it to melt.
  84. You can use an Amiga as a popcorn popper.
  85. You can heat an Amiga and use it as an iron.
  86. You can decorate the ceiling by putting parts of Amigas on it. 
  87. You can take it for a walk on a leash.
  88. You can use an Amiga as a mailbox.
  89. You can put wheels on it and use it as a shopping cart.
  90. You can keep your pipes in it.
  91. You can keep loose change in it.
  92. You can use an Amiga for batting practice. and if you really want to get rid of it: 
  93. Try fixing it yourself!

Brought to you by the Webbed Sphere ST [513]299-3665


ASCII conversion by Internal Malfunction, [705]’s ST source! 300/1200/2400, 24 hours a day [705]734-0349 Barrie, Ont. ***********************************************************************

Modifications by Wild Dog of Simcoe County Atari Users Group. Special thanks to Atari Master.

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