Addicted to News

Sung to the tune of "Addicted To Love" by Robert Palmer

 The lights are on-- 'cause you're at home.
 Your brain's wired to your phone.
 Alt.sex, and talk.bizarre,
 You his 'reply,' start a flamewar!
 You don't sleep, you drink Coke,
 You can't stop, you might choke.
 Know what, you crave the most?
 Talk.religion, with unread posts!
 
 You like to think you've figured out drieux!
 Oh yeah?
 A day without net access is a day with the blues,
 You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to News.
 
 Pirate clari, you've got it all.
 Local news, e'en from Nepal?
 'End of newsgroups' is your key,
 To join *.advocacy!
 A fido gate's your latest fun,
 Mailing lists, every one.
 A one-track mind, you can't be pried,
 From your keyboard, until you've died!
 
 Just when you think you've figured out drieux!
 Oh, yeah!
 A day without net access is a day with the blues,
 You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to News.
 
 The lights are on, 'cause your at home.
 Your brain's wired to your phone.
 Alt.slack, talk.pol.misc,
 You've never felt a real live kiss!

Author : Elf Sternberg <elf@halcyon.com>

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