Elephant Jokes

Q: What’s grey on the inside and pink and white on the outside? A: An inside out elephant. Q: What is grey and not there. A: No elephants. Q: Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled? A: Because if they were small, white and smooth they’d be aspirins. Q: Why …

Insurance Claims

The following are copies of actual written statement collected form various auto insurance companies in Northern and Southern California. The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement on the particulars of the accident in their own words. <(*******************)> Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with …

American in England

An elderly English couple, the wife rather deaf, were visiting New York. They hail a cab and start out on a lengthy journey. It being New York, it isn’t long before the driver starts talking. Driver: You’re limeys, aren’t you? Man: Aye, we are Wife: What did he say? M: …

100 Excuses

If you are asked to do something, or go somewhere but don’t want to, use these instead of being rude. I’d love to, but… 1 I have to floss my cat. 2 I’ve dedicated my life to linguine. 3 I want to spend more time with my blender. 4 The …