Computer Man

To the tune of “Piano Man” by Billy Joel

It’s 10 AM on a Wednesday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man up at the blackboard
Getting off on programs that “win”

He says “Son, you will build an automata
I’m not really sure how it goes
But its cycles are neat
And I knew it complete
When I wore an undergrad’s clothes”

(Chorus)
Write me some code, you’re a computer man
Write me some code tonight
I expect you’ll be thinking of suicide
If your program’s not running tonight.

Now John the TA is a friend of mine
And he gets CPU’s for free
Now he’s quick with his hacks
That will prop up the Vax
But there’s someplace that he’d rather be

He said “Bill, I believe this is killing me!”
As the smile ran away from his face
“Yes I’m sure that I could get my Ph.D
If I could get out of this place.”

Now Bruce is a permanent student
Who has programmed most of his life
And he’s talking to Davy
Who’s still at Carnegie
And probably will be for life

And the faculty’s practicing politics
As their graduates slowly grow old
They say “Think of the thrill and accomplishment
That writing a paper will hold”

(Repeat Chorus)

I’ve done a pretty good job on my Master’s
And my advisor gives me a smile
`cause when guys like me
will do research for free
His job is secure for a while

And recruiters, they call on the telephone
and they offer me plant trips and beer
They look me in the eye
Then say with a sigh
“MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!”

(Repeat Chorus)

 

*** the names used above are taken from Joel’s original lyrics and do not denote real people.

Author : ?Bruce Gaya

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