Don’t Have a Conniption

To the tune of “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangles

All the system ops in this place,
They monitor me, just for fun.
If I logon here,
They force me off ‘fore my profile runs.

‘Cause I have a reputation
For doing things which I shouldn’t be,
Like running CHATS,
And bootlegging Lotus-123.

So you see, when they yell at me, I say,
(wayohwayoh, wayohwayoh)
“Don’t have a conniption…”

Found how to change all my privs;
I didn’t know that I broke a rule.
I forced the op,
I dropped the link, then I purged the spool.

All the sys ops, so sick of me,
They don’t let my databases run.
I broke CP,
They had a big fat connip-tion.

When they NOLOG my account, I say
(wayohwayoh, wayohwayoh)
“Don’t have a conniption…”

They’ve hated me since I stored
Inside the real PSW.
We crashed hard you know,
I guess I forgot a bit or two.

If you want to find software cops,
They’re hanging out in the software shops.
They kick your pants,
And give the boot to your VMBLOCK.

I ran my Turing Machine;
Another one was assembl’in.
And it crunched all night,
The system op had connip’tions.

To software cops in the software shops, I say
(wayohwayoh, wayohwayoh)
“Don’t have a conniption…”
“Don’t have a conniption.”

by Brent C.J. Britton

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