Elephant Jokes

Q:      What's grey on the inside and pink and white on the outside?

A:      An inside out elephant.


Q:      What is grey and not there.

A:      No elephants.


Q:      Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled?

A:      Because if they were small, white and smooth they'd be aspirins.


Q:      Why are elephants wrinkled?

A:      Have you ever tried to iron one?


Q:      Why do elephants wear small green hats?

A:      So they can sneak across snooker tables unobserved.


Q:      How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

A:      He paints his chucks red and climbs up a cherry tree.


Q:      What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A:      A giraffe eating cherries.


Q:      How many legs does an elephant have?

A:      four, two in the front, two in the back.

Q:      How do you get 8 (!) elephants in a fridge, with only
        enough room for two?

A:      Put four in a mini, four in another mini,put the two
        mini's in the fridg, as a fridge large enough to hold
        two elephants, surely can hold two mini's!



Q:      How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?

A:      open door, get two mini's out, put tarzan in, close door.



Q:      How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?

A:      you can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO



Q:      How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?

A:      You cant, silly, there is only one Tarzan!



Q:      Why are there so many elephants running around free in the
        jungle ?

A:      Tarzans fridge is not large enough to hold them all.



Q:      How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?

A:      Depends on the number of elephants.



Q.      What has the Fifth elephant in a Mini discovered ?

A.      The sunshine roof.


Q.      What do you call two elephants on a bicycle ?

A.      Optimistic !


Q.      What do you get if you take an elephant into the city ?

A.      Free Parking.


Q.      What do you get if you take an elephant into work ?

A.      Sole use of the lift.



Q:      How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?

A:      It's bike is outside.



Q:      How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?

A:      There is a dent in the cross-bar.



Q:      How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?

A:      Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.



Q:      How does an elephant get down from a tree?

A:      It doesn't, You get down from a duck.



Q:      How do you get an elephant out of a tree?

A:      Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till autumn.



Q:      What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

A:      Bloody great holes all over Australia.



Q:      Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkley?

A:      Because, if it was small round and white it would be an Aspirin.



Q:      How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?

A:      Your nose is touching the ceiling.



Q:      What's big, red and slimy?

A:      An inside-out elephant.



Q:      Why do elephants wear sandals?

A:      So that they don't sink in the sand.



Q:      Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?

A:      To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.



Q:      What did Hannibal say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?

A:      "Look, There's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill."



Q:      What did he say when he saw 1,000 elephants with sunglasses on, coming over

A:      Nothing, he didn't recognize them.



Q:      Why shouldn't you go into the woods at 5 o'clock?

A:      Because that is when the elephants do their parachute jumping.



Q:      What is a furry alligator?

A:      A bear that went into the woods at 5 o'clock.



Q:      Why don't elephants like penguins?

A:      They can't get the wrapper off.(Too whom it may concern: Penguins are biscuits)



Q:      Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

A:      So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.



Q:      Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?

A:      No? Well, it must work so.




Q:      Why do elephants paint their nuts red?

A:      So they can hide in cherry trees.



Q:      How did Tarzan die?

A:      Yup, Picking cherries.

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