Ever Onward, IBM

This may be the oldest song parody that I have in my usenet collection, the author is unknown and the introduction was written by Joe Morris <jcmorris@mwunix.mitre.org>.

The song is *old*. I haven’t any idea when it came out, but it has a flavor of the ’30s at the latest. (And how many other a.f.c. readers find that the words make one think of the silliness of a Mary Kay Cosmetics pep rally?) I had a copy of the music sheet many years ago; it’s probably buried in one of my files marked “humor” from several moves back. For today’s posting I copied the text from the SHARE songbook, where it appears with such favorites as:

  • Should old Chuck Forney be forgot (and HASP songs sung no more)?
  • Real Good Throughput, Here I Come
  • If I Had a HASP (I’d be SPOOLin’ in the morning)
  • JES 2, Joy of Man’s Desiring
  • and, of course, that old standby:
  • HASPy Days are Here Again

Now without further ado, the song.

There’s a thrill in store for all
For we’re about to toast
The corporation that we represent.
We’re here to cheer each pioneer and also proudly boast,
Of that man of men, our sterling president
The name of T. J. Watson means a courage none can stem
And we feel honored to be here to toast the I-B-M

Ever Onward! Ever Onward!
That’s the spirit that has brought us fame.
We’re big but bigger we will be.
We can’t fail for all can see, that serve humanity
Has been our aim.
Our products now are known in every zone.
Our reputation sparkles like a gem.
We’ve fought our way through
And new fields we’re sure to conquer, too.
For the ever onward I-B-M!

Ever onward! Ever Onward!
We’re bound for the top to never fall
Fight here and now we thankfully
Pledge sincerest loyalty
To the corporation that’s the bets of all.
Our leaders we revere and while we’re here,
Let’s show the world just what we think of them!
So let us sing men — sing men
Once or twice, then sing again
For the ever onward I-B-M!

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