General Humor

Various humorous items that I have collected over the years. 

Elephant Jokes

Q: What's grey on the inside and pink and white on the outside? A: An inside out elephant. Q: What ...
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Navy vs Air Force Canoe Race

The Navy and the Air Force decided to have a canoe race on the Potomac River. Both teams practiced hard ...
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The Top 15 Advertising Slogans for Delta Air Lines

Delta: We're Amtrak with wings. Join our frequent near-miss program. Ask about our out-of-court settlements. Noisy engines? We'll turn 'em ...
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Ten Commandments of Helicopter Flying

1. He who inspecteth not his aircraft giveth his angels cause to concern him. 2. Hallowed is thy airflow across ...
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The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation

1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you. 2. Me? I've never busted minimums. 3. We will ...
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Insurance Claims

The following are copies of actual written statement collected form various auto insurance companies in Northern and Southern California. The ...
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Fun Answering Machine Messages

Noisy pick-up of phone Uh...<whispering> Hello? Hi, I 'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering ...
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American in England

An elderly English couple, the wife rather deaf, were visiting New York. They hail a cab and start out on ...
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When the Final Doesn’t Matter

50 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter (i.e. you are going to fail the class ...
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100 Excuses

If you are asked to do something, or go somewhere but don't want to, use these instead of being rude ...
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