Navy vs Air Force Canoe Race

The Navy and the Air Force decided to have a canoe
race on the Potomac River.  Both teams practiced hard
and long to reach their peak performance before the
race. On the big day, the Navy won by a mile.

Afterwards, the Air Force team was very discouraged,
depressed, and frustrated. The officers of the Air
Force team decided that the reason for the crushing
defeat had to be fund. A "Metrics team," made up of
senior officers, was formed to investigate and
recommend appropriate action.  Their conclusion was
that the Navy had 8 seamen rowing and 1 officer
steering, while the Air Force had 1 airman rowing and
8 officers and NCOs steering.  The senior officers of
the Air Force team hired a consulting company and paid
them incredible amounts of money. They advised that
too many people were steering the boat and not enough
people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Navy
again next year, the Air Force Chief of Staff made
historic and sweeping changes: the rowing team's
organizational structure was totally realigned to 4
steering officers, 3 area steering superintendents and 1
assistant superintendent steering NCO. They also
implemented a new performance system that would
give the 1 airman rowing the boat greater incentive
to work harder. It was called the "Air Force Rowing
Team Quality Program," with meetings, dinners, and a
three-day pass for the rower. "We must give the rower
empowerment and enrichment through this quality

The next year the Navy won by 2 miles. Humiliated,
the Air Force leadership gave a letter of reprimand
to the rower for poor performance, initiated a $4
billion program for development of a new joint-service
canoe, blamed the loss on a design defect in the
paddles, and issued career continuation bonuses and
leather rowing jackets to the beleaguered steering
officers in the hopes they would stay for next
year's race.

Meanwhile, the Marine Corps was going to join but they lacked funding for a boat.

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