Silicon Valley Guy

To the tune of “Valley Girls” by  Moonunit Zappa

Spoken: Hey, anybody seen my beeper?

Sung:
Valley Guy, he’s a valley guy
Silicon Valley guy
Flip on tie, and tennis shoes
Thinks he’s flip (not sure about
but he’s blown a fuse these two)
Hangs out at the Radio Shack
buyin’ chips for his UNIVAC
He’s a…

Spoken: Naw, that one’s not mine. Well anyway, it was complete chip burnout
with floppy disk failure. A real total system dump, you know? For certain!
And I told the output user, “Hey, would I de-res my own program? C’mon
man, don’t call me, call PG&E! Hey, go somewhere and have a meltdown, man,
like, burn out!” Then I went down to the Shack to get some sub-dip-miniature
relays? And get this, the salesman gave me a new plastic pocket protector!

Sung:
Look out Intel, here he comes
He’s the king of computer runs
Got his degree from M.I.T.
Knows square roots to infinity

Spoken: I scanned that new program down in word processing? The one with the
huge memory banks? Yea–Julie! Punch my code, I am certain! When I first saw
her I thought, “Woa! Give me a microsecond, could I trip her kip relay or
what?” She sorta smiles at me and I’m thinking, “I have got to access this
chick.” But should I go subroutine or main program, you know? So I just
suddenly invade her spacial arena and introduce myself for starts. Hi, I’m
Ray Fifo.

Sung:
Valley Guy, he’s a valley guy
Silicon Valley guy
Flip on tie, and tennis shoes
Thinks he’s flip (still not sure about
but he’s blown a fuse these two)
Hangs out at the Radio Shack
buyin’ chips for his UNIVAC
He’s a…

Spoken: So after a few casual edit statements, I can tell this unit really
digs me. I mean it’s modem to the max, the program computes, right? We
make plans to meet at her place and I get there and she is online, I mean,
like, she’s wearing all this software. I’m calculating the access time
to her front-end processor and there is phase jitter entering all my charge
couple devices! Her ambia-temperature’s (?) rising! And she is alpha-fluxing
right before my eyes! We skipped dinner.

Sung:
Look out Intel, here he comes
He’s the king of computer runs
Got his degree from M.I.T.
Knows square roots to infinity

Spoken: After a RAM refresh time interval she says to me, “Ray, I’m all decoded now.
I think yo better go” And I say, “OK program, I can handle the end sum.”
“And Ray,” she says, “I hope you won’t de-res me in the morning.” And I
say, “Moi? De-res a cute little program like you? Hey, I’m a Silicon Valley Guy.”

Sung:
Valley guy, he’s a valley Guy
Silcon Valley guy (continues to end)

Spoken: Come here you catalystic data, you! Give master control a little phase jitter.
Punch my code! Did I ever show you my cathode ray? It is really tubular!
Gag me with a microchip. Hey, where is my beeper?

Author : Don Data and the Res-Tones 🙂

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